How to write brilliant email pitches

2 min read

How to write brilliant email pitches

Each day, more than 100 billion marketing emails are sent to consumers globally. Inboxes today are noisy and highly competitive environments. 

So it’s crucial that when you write marketing emails, you find a way to break through this cacophony. Here’s how:


Write an enticing subject line 

The content in the email won’t matter if your subject line doesn’t entice the recipient to open it.

With email software like Outlook, your first five or six words of both your first sentence and subject could be the most important. If emails are grouped, and not collapsed, this is what you’ll see:

So make sure the most important information is in the first few words of the subject line and the opening sentence.

For example, if you used the subject line An amazing new service and coupled it with the first line The greatest way to manage…, readers would see this:

Other tips for great subject lines include:

  • Be concise – aim to use fewer than 50 characters
  • Be honest – never mislead people into opening an email 
  • Avoid words such as ‘free’, as they can trigger spam filters
  • Personalise the subject line if possible
  • Evoke curiosity


Content is key

Your emails have to be interesting to your target audience. That means you should:

Get to the point

You should present the information as concisely as possible, especially if it’s a sales pitch. If there’s too much information, consider publishing each article on its own page on your website and linking to it using ‘learn more’ buttons or links (see example below).

Another benefit of this method is you’ll clearly see which parts of your emails are being read, and which are being ignored.

Give your clients information they want

Telling clients about your business might not be enough. Instead, tell them how your business can solve their problem or add value to their lives.

For example, if you’re a financial adviser, you might want to tell readers how experienced and successful you are. But that would be all about you; you wouldn’t be giving readers any value.

Instead, focus on your clients and their hopes and dreams. Tell them how talking to you can help them build wealth or enjoy a financially secure retirement – whatever they want. Once you’ve hooked them with an opening line that benefits them, you can sell them your service.

Include a call-to-action

The point of a marketing email is to get a potential client to take some action that will turn them into an actual client. So tell them what that action is and include an email address, phone number or provide a form. 

For example, if the financial adviser was offering a new portfolio management service, their call-to-action could be:

Want to live your dream? Email your name to livemydream@financialadviserwebsite.com.au right now and let’s get started. 


One size doesn’t fit all 

You can’t do successful email marketing if you take a one-size-fits-all-approach.

Instead, you need to send emails that are customised for your target market. 

For example, if our fictitious financial adviser had some clients with $50,000 to invest and others with $1 million, it’s unlikely they’d respond to the same pitch or be interested in the same offering.

So segment your mailing lists, and adjust your sales pitch for your specific market.

Need help writing a compelling sales pitch? Talk to Hunter & Scribe. We’ll provide an enticing subject line, user-focused content and a great call-to-action.

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